"I came, I saw, I conquered."

I don't even know where to start.  This was by far, the most amazing, challenging, and emotional experience of my life.  It is truly difficult to put into words how I feel, but I'll make my best attempt.

The day before the race, I proudly wore my Boston Marathon 2011 jacket as I walked down Boylston street and headed to Old South Church.  This church is on the corner of Bolyston, exactly where the finish line is.  Right before church started, I was able to see the 5k race down Boylston and immediately was in awe of the finish line set up with balloons etc. I got teary eyed thinking to myself that tomorrow, someway and somehow I would be crossing that line.  The church service that morning was powerful and emotional.  The music was beautiful, the sermon was touching, and of course, I got my palm as it was palm sunday.   I sat beside Boston residents, runners from all over the world who were wearing 2011 jackets as well as jackets from previously run races, and their loved ones. The church was packed.  During the blessing of the athletes prayer/ceremony, I turned to various people and they all shook my hand and gave me a hug and wished me good luck. It felt great.  I met someone from Minneapolis who had run the Boston marathon 2 years prior.  She really helped calm my nerves a bit as she encouraged me to go out and have fun. 

On sunday afternoon, I attended the Dana Farber pasta party/program at The Copley Marriott with my friends Lauren and Anne.  The food was delicious, there were so many pasta dishes to choose from, as well as fruit and of COURSE, dessert.  It was really special to have my friends there with me.   The program entailed several speakers from DFMC, the cofounder of the Barr Research program (which donations supported), cancer survivors, a slide show of those which to remember who lost their battle with cancer, the match program in which DF runners were matched with current DF patients, and recognition of those who have run for DF for 5, 10, 15, and even 20 years.  It was truly humbling and at several points, I broke down in tears.  I realized that regardless of how/when I finished the race, that was not the real victory. The race itself fell second.  The victory was the fact that I was representing this incredible organization and that through the generosity of my family, friends, and coworkers, together we raised $8800 for cancer research. 

Sunday night was interesting. I literally slept about an hour and a half, and the rest of the time experienced self doubt, nerves, fear, and lots and lots of tears (pretty sure I went through a box of tissues that day).  Prior to the race, my legs, and specifically, my knee, had been bothering me. I said several prayers that night that God would give me the strength to make it through this race.  I just wanted to finish and I wanted to cross that finish line in one piece. I was terrified of being sick, spraining an ankle, passing out etc. 

At 5:15am on monday the alarm went off. I immediately sat up straight in my bed and screamed "OH MY GOD, WHAT THE F AM I DOING?" No lie.  I scrambled around, putting on my gear, making sure I had the appropriate stuff I needed for the race and for the waiting period out in Hopkinton, brushed my teeth, and jumped in the cab at 6am.  Nearly 26000 people took school buses out to Hopkinton from the Boston Commons. I have to say, it was a pretty impressive set up.  As I stood outside waiting to board the bus, I looked around and realized that most people at least SEEMED to be pretty calm.  At that point, I thought back to all the other times in my life when  I felt overwhelmed, underqualified etc and realized that this was just another experience in which I set a very lofty goal but could totally blend in with the cream of the crop.  It was cool.  I sat next to an awesome guy, Greg Eliott, from Chicago.  This was going to be his 26th marathon.  He asked me all about my pace, my expectations, etc.  I could barely get a word in the whole one hour ride out to Hopkinton as he kept telling me how impressed he was with my educational background, work background and now my attempt at my first marathon.  His humor and personality totally took my mind off of the race for a bit.  He had some great tips for running the hills too.  Awesome guy!!

When we arrived out in Hopkinton, the DF meeting center was at St Johns church about a half mile away, so I walked over.  I could not believe how cold and windy it was and began to feel nervous that I wasn't dressed right for the race.  At the church, I started to mingle with people, talking to them about their past race experiences etc. Fortunately, I was comforted after meeting some people who were also going through their first marathon experience. For several hours, we hung around the church, putting on sunblock, taping up injuries, eating and drinking, taking DF team photos (there were 560 runners) and watching the start of the elite runners on tv. I think I went to the bathroom at least 6 times as I was nervous haha. On my last trip into the bathroom, my phone rang and it was my sister. So I picked it up and she said "WOW you answered. Hey you are on speaker". Next thing I knew, I had a whole class of 3rd graders cheering for me in the background, "GO KATE GO KATE GO KATE".  And once again, I was crying. It was exactly what I needed to hear. 

I did some final preparation before heading to the start line. You literally could not have put another thing in my water belt pocket. I took my phone, tissues, debit card, raisinets, sports jelly beans, sports GU, some table salt smooshed into a napkin, gummy bears, hot tamales, and rosary beads. Yes I am not catholic, but I took the beads.  OMG yes. AND THEN, at 10:25, we all headed over to the Hopkinton start line. 

It was unbelievably windy.  Several thousand of us were jammed together into the corral waiting for the start line.  Some guy next to me had a trash bag over him, and advised me to try a few stretches before we started. They helped.  I grabbed onto the arm of the lady next to me, who was suffering from bronchitis but was determined to run.  We both smiled and wished each other well.  I've truly never felt such a bond other than through this experience with strangers.    AND IT WAS TIME TO GO.  The WBZ camera crew sent the cameras above our heads. Every nerve, every fear, every ounce of self doubt escaped me as soon as I started moving my feet.  I did not even think about how long the race was and how difficult it would be at that point. 

Mile by mile, I was running the marathon!  Every single step of the way, I would take everything in. I smiled so much that my mouth/lips hurt by the end of the day.  The spectators were absolutely amazing. The sheer volume alone, plus their motivating words/clapping hands/kindness to the runners.  People were handing out wet paper towels, cut up bananas and oranges, pretzel rods, candy, tissues, you name it.  I must have high fived at least 1000 people on the route.  I had written my name on masking tape and placed it on my shirt, so I would constantly hear people yelling "GO KATE", "So proud of you for running for DFMC", "you're amazing", "Don't give up now Kate, you can do this". It was incredible.  These are people I don't even know. I am not a famous person or athlete. I am an ordinary Joe who took on a huge feat.  And 1+ million people are out there cheering for me.  Hard to describe how that felt.

Along the way, I couldn't believe the diversity of people I was running with. It was humbling. People of all ages, (some very old), shapes and sizes, abilities and disabilities.  I saw at least 3 blind people, who had others guiding them through the race. There were cancer survivors.  People from all over the world.  There were very inspiring messages on singlets, and body art.  People in costumes.  Athletes and those that are not.  And there I was, running right alongside these 26000+ runners.  All of us had a common goal - attack this course and finish this race.  I watched a girl who had injuries on her feet, stop at a medical tent and tape up, and continue the course from about mile 13 on, running barefoot with taped feet.  I watched people collapse near me, vomit, etc.  It was at those points , that I would purposely grab another drink or eat something, and slow down my pace as I tried to avoid that at all costs.

Every time I crossed over a tracking marker on the road, I was excited. And every time I saw a sign that I was entering into a new town, it was exciting.  Ashland, Framingham, Natick, Wellesley, Newton, Brookline, BOSTON.  One thing that blew my mind, I could not believe how hilly the entire course was.  I seriously thought there were only hills in Newton. It definitely was constant hills. Too bad when I trained all winter, I never once ran a hill (in all honesty I avoided them). Definitely a lesson learned.  I also never did a training run greater than 16 miles. Another lesson learned.  My pace slowed down considerably around mile 17. I was not prepared to treat lactic acid build up in my calves by taking more salt.  I ran into several other people along the way that had that problem. It was absolutely a challenge to make it through the next 9 miles!!!!!

The best parts of the race were seeing people I knew. My amazing Stonehill friends were around mile 10, mile 20, and then the finish line. They made the coolest posters for me too. It was great seeing Lisa Aubin, Craig Plummer, Jan and Jeff Evans, Diane and Fred, and of course, my parents/brother/girlfriend at mile 25ish. 

I cried all the way through Cleveland circle. It was at this time that I hit a wall mentally and wanted the race to be done with.  It was the longest 3+ miles of my life. When I got into Boston, and turned onto Newbury Street, I spotted my family and cried (are you sensing a pattern here?)  My brother Steve and his girlfriend Melissa jumped the barriers, grabbed my hands, and we ran to the finish line together. It was the most amazing feeling to finish that race and to share it with Steve and Melissa... I will treasure that moment for the rest of my life.   I was kind of in disbelief and unbelievably thankful that I was ok. 

Looking back now (I know, it was seriously only 1+ days ago haha but I've been through a lot) I can honestly say that I enjoyed every minute of this experience.  As one wise individual reminded me: "the journey is the gift and not the finish". It was a gift to be able to run for DFMC and the incredible cause.  It was an honor to run for Dillon Webb, Mark Lucas, Frank Maffee, Rachel Pelletier, and Allison Tucker.  It was a privilege to run alongside so many amazing people. It was the experience of a lifetime and I will never forget any of it.  I will absolutely tackle another marathon in the near future, but I think I'll attempt a course that's a tad easier and flat for my next go round. After having been through this experience, I think any other goal or challenge i.e. grad school will be a walk in the park. 

I cannot thank everyone enough for your love, support, and encouragement. Thanks for taking this journey with me.  I hope if nothing else, that I have inspired people to chase a dream. This is the girl who could barely run a mile in high school, who hated running around the bases on the softball field, and who trained and worked hard to sustain long runs to the point where breathing properly was a breeze!  I was inspired by watching the marathon a couple of years ago on tv, and thought "wow, I can't even imagine what that feels like".  And now I know. And you can't wipe this smile off my face or take the feelings from my heart.  

You can do anything and achieve anything in life...you just have to believe in yourself and follow through.  The journey is long, it's hard, there are obstacles everywhere, it's an emotional roller coaster, and it's well worth it.  I wouldn't want it any other way.  You live once.  Dream big. And make it happen.

With love,
Kate